Statistically I got 26 years left. After I go I guess there is about 10 years more that my artwork might live on and will be enjoyed…and then its all gone. great! now we got that out of the way, what are we gonna do about it?
Over the last years I have been focusing much more on the process of painting rather than the actual painting. Its easy to get stressed out about what other people will think, what the client needs, how this specific image will either help or break your art career and so on. Non of those thoughts has ever helped me in any way. Not that they haven’t pushed me or made me strive for perfection and all that, but they did put an extremely big load of performance anxiety on my shoulders. To a degree where I have felt that it suffocates me and keep me from thinking a rational thought about a painting that I am working on. So, back to: ” We are all gonna die”. Enjoying the painting process and emerging yourself in the pure physical act of painting or drawing, is something that sticks in my mind like a residue left behind from all the hardship. The paintings I have enjoyed the most is not always the best ones – even if there seem to be some kind of connection between the two – but they are the ones I remember having painted the clearest. The paintings where I let myself loose and carefree stroked the brush around the paper seeing where it let me, are the most fulfilling part of my art life. If you can focus on, and leave room for, spontaneity and playfulness, you will experience something hat transcends clients demands, and your own imposter syndrome. Try painting your painting for yourself first before anything else. By all means, solve the task, do your commissions and be professional, but in your mind: do it for yourself. the moments you have with yourself and a painting is never going away. The money and the night you spent meeting the deadline is gone in an instant.
I have found out that the purest joy I have is when I sketch birds for nothing but my own pleasure. its the purest form of peaceful process that I can think of, and I wanna try and get as much of that mindset into my professional work as possible.
…cause we are all gonna die. 
It’s very sad to know that the people we love and our heroes are gone. It’s even sadder than knowing that I’m going.
But regardless of that, or maybe because of that, who knows… Life is what it is, not what it isn’t. So, what matters is what happens. And painting is about achieving. And people like you, Jesper, are happy accidents that remind me every day that life is beautiful. Please, just keep being you, because only you are capable of that and the world wouldn’t be the same without this presence.
Painting is about realize.*
Such a thought-provoking and reflective post! It’s a powerful reminder of the fleeting nature of life and how important it is to make meaningful art that resonates with others. I appreciate the honesty and depth in this piece—definitely gives a fresh perspective on creativity and purpose.”